I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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