bring money and cleavage
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
