He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
