honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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