Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You need Xanax blowdarts
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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