im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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