bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
