So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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