dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
