drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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