You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my shit smells like andre
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
