i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
