I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
