i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
