Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
