My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
