At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
