i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
