So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
