She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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