Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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