he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
