Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
