found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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