She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
