i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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