Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
