I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
