Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
