these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
