shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
