just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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