is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
