Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
