Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
