I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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