Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
