yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
