the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
