Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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