YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
