she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
