Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
