so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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