if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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