i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
