Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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