I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
