You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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