No I am not eating basil off your cock
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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