he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
